What is up with my face?

For some reason, chicks don't dig me.

I just can't imagine why...

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!
i found this glorious frog inside a large chuck of feces this morning and every time i look at it, i can't look away and i have to bask in it's glory until someone forces my attention away

This is exactly how i felt when that rock exploded and covered my dining room in feces

WTF

okay, so i left off telling you guys i was about to smack open that rock right?
well, i did, and fucken crazy shit happened.
 Shit started flying everywhere, i mean real shit. took hours to clean up.
i'm still trying to figure out what the fuck happened here

i'm allright now

Okay, i stopped freaking out long enough to go find a chisel to try to crack this space rock open, wish me tons of luck

soup guys, i'm David

Alrite, today i noticed something i shouldn't have.
I shouldn't have been looking there, but i was so don't give me any crap about it.
There was a huge rock in the middle of my pool, but i swear, it wasn't a normal huge rock.
It looked like some crazy space shit that landed in my pool and evaporated half of the water in it.
shit's so crazy